5 Things That Are Very Important to the Men You Date

by Randy 09/02/10

A lot of men have jokes and even do stand up comedy on the things a man wants in a woman. I can’t tell you what every man wants in a woman, but I can tell you from a female’s perspective that you can only control so much. Most times when I’m giving advice or sharing a story to teach a lesson, I tend to say, “The men you want to date aren’t stupid enough to play your childish games.” A friend of mine was in NYC for a weekend and she wanted to make time to see a couple guys she had been trying to get to know better and still party. I told her, “Listen, these guys who you want to date can tell when you’re full of crap. They notice when you cancel or push things back or ask them to meet you some other place. Admin Note: No one dates at the club. If the person you are dating asks you to meet them at the club, tell them to get at you when they actually want to hang out. Nonetheless, here are five things that are VERY important to the men you want to date.

Be Reliable
A man admires a woman when he can rest assured that if she said it, it will be. An example of what not to do would be if a guy asks you to pick him up from the airport on Sunday afternoon and you hit him up on Sunday and say, “Would you mind catching a cab? I was trying to go to brunch with my friends.” Men like being able to depend on a woman to do what she says she will do. No one asks you to make a commitment but once you do, exhibit the ability to see it through.

Be Cool
A woman is full within her right to say, “I’m not your friend, I’m your girlfriend.” That’s fair game. So that’s not what I mean by “cool.” I’m talking about keeping a cool head. We will get angry and sometimes that will cause us to act out of character, but it’s important to men to see that you will not erupt in anger whenever there is an issue. Learning how to communicate and carry yourself without showing anger and emotion really goes a long way with a guy.

Be Adventurous
When you’re a man, “can’t” shouldn’t be in your vocabulary, and when you’re a woman the same can be said for, “ain’t.” Men like when you are open to trying new things. Even if you’re uncomfortable with it, men like that you are willing to do it.

Me – Baby, you want to go whitewater rafting?
Her – I ain’t going no whitewater rafting, my hair, fool! [BBM Talk To the Hand Face]
Her – I’ve heard it’s fun, I’d definitely like to go. I just have to figure out what to do with my hair. Do you know any other Black girls who have gone? [BBM Dancing Face]

Be Motivational
Recently, a good friend of mine got married to his girlfriend of what I want to say was five years. When I asked him why he did it, he said, “Because she inspires me to be better.” Men love this quality in a woman. We know that we can do better, but we don’t want to hear it most of the time. Firing on us about how we could be making more money and doing more around the house isn’t productive because it won’t solve the problem. Supporting your man while he studies for the LSAT and struggles to get the practice score that he feels comfortable with, goes the furthest.

Be There
This is really easy, yet it can be so hard for a woman to understand. I’ll try my best to simplify it for you. If your man just got back in town, make it a priority to see him, moreover, take the time to ask him how his trip went and let him know you care about his life. If I’m not going out because my mother has been sick lately and I’d rather not be around people, don’t take this as an opportunity to party it up with your girlfriends. Be there for me. What I’m asking for in a partner is that you be there when it’s not fun because it’s important that you do so. Often times you find people in relationships only when they’re convenient. Some men don’t know any better, they will be at home broke and depressed or sick and shut in, while their girlfriend is out and about. The difference between the girl I’m dating and someone I’m looking to have a meaningful relationship with is that they are there for me all the time. The term, “She holds me down” didn’t come from thin air.

In conclusion, I didn’t want to give you the stereotypical answers for what’s important to men. I’m trying to explain to the female gender what this ambiguous thing called, “It” is when it comes to women. There’s several things that will tell you how to get or keep a man, but these are the things they won’t tell you. These are the five things that your bust size, hip size, or eye color can’t do for your relationship. Do these, do them well, and it might just help you keep a man.

WORLD CUP -SOUTH AFRICA 2010

PROUD TO THE AFRICAN ..LETS JOIN HANDS AND CELEBRATE AFRICA....WOZAAAAAAAA

MESSAGE TO MARRIED COUPLES AND SINGLES WHO INTEND TO GET MARRIED

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner,
I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell
you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I
didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her
know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised
the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she
asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This
made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and
shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we
didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she
had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I
didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our house,
our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The
woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had
become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her
writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper
but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast
because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table
writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was
asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's
notice before the divorce. She requested that in that
one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as
possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his
exams in a months time and she didn’t want to disrupt
him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more,
she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out
bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I
carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever
morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to
make our last days together bearable I accepted her
odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She
laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter
what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,
she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared
clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of
pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to
the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my
arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell
our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to
wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.


On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of
her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this
woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was
not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her
face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its
toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done
to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a
sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who
had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth
and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It
became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried
on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable
one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown
bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more
easily.
Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time
to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying
his mother out had become an essential part of his
life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I
was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.
I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her
body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last
day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school.
I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our
life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would
make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew
opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do
not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my
forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her
hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't
divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because
she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more. Now I
realise that since I carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do
us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me
a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into
tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of
flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to
write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do
us apart.
The small details of your lives are what really matter
in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car,
property , the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah.
These create an environment conducive for happiness
but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time
to be your spouse's friend and do those little things
for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you,
but if you do, you
just might save a marriage.

GOD BLESS US ALL

Randy Writes……

PASSION

Passion Bulids Businesses but Not Fear.